Should I Move Out?

So, I am in my late 20s and the impetus for living alone, believe it or not, has been plaguing my thoughts for some time. But, being from an island, I’m not quite sure how much relevance is given to moving out at early age. I see it quite commonly in the US and somewhat so in UK though. But 2017 was my very first attempt at living alone…And no, it wasn’t because I mustered up the courage to finally tell my mom “Adios- I’m outta this place”, but I left the island to study and moved to a remote location where I knew no-one at the time and boy Oh boy, has it been one hec of an experience…

I’m an only child, on my mom’s side at least. I grew up with my mom who was a single parent and did one hec of a job at raising me up. For the most part, I was always by myself or with my mom. I had a very close cousin who live next to me for almost all of my life and he was like a big brother for me. A part from us playing together in my earlier childhood days, I don’t remember being around or socialising so much with children of my age at that time. It wasn’t until I was about in adolescent stages that I began having and making friends but even then, I was very much isolated and enjoyed my own space. Growing up, from that point until now, I haven’t changed much at all in that regard.

On one end of the spectrum, the excitement I felt to finally be on my own was a feeling that words cannot even describe, on the other hand, living alone in a place where you know virtually no one can be so lonely.

When you have a mother like mine who cooks for you and washes your laundry and changes your bed linen when she has spare time, adjusting to doing these things for yourself can be a little challenging.

Albeit, the accommodation that I chose has a room service element where a cleaner comes to my room once a week and changes my bed sheets and cleans the room. This worked perfectly for me. This is not say that I cannot do this on my own, but, it was a service that came with room, so I gladly took it.

I remember one day being so overwhelmed with an assignment that I found it so difficult to leave the room and purchase some essentials. I was so tired that I had no energy for washing the dishes or folding laundry, At that point, I missed my mom.

Living alone teaches you how to do things for yourself and by yourself. Have you ever felt like watching some Netflix but your mother is telling you about the dishes in the sink that need to be washed. Yes…sometimes we know what needs to be done, but we don’t feel like doing them when they necessarily want them to be done. Living alone grants me that flexibility.

You won’t believe it but it really helps you to see the kind of person that you are. I knew that I was a neat bug but, living alone confirmed that even more. I also spent so much time alone that I’m seeing so much growth in my life-spiritually and emotionally. I’m also realising more and more that I have a knack for managing my time very well. I make the effort every day to plan my days and more times than none, my days go according to plans. I use this time alone for a lot of self reflection. Believe me, getting to know yourself can be a life changer for you. I uncovered some bad habits of mine in the process but made a huge attempt to change.

The big question now is- How do I return to living with my mom after? My answer- life comes in stages. There are some people who moved out at a very young age and had to learn life the hard way. There are others like me who are doing it, somewhat incrementally. There is really no accepted timeframe for living alone. At the end of the day it boils down to so many factors. But most importantly, I believe that you would know when it’s time.

As for me right now, I have 5 more months remaining and I’m going to enjoy every waking moment.

-Dena

 

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